Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Fathers and Custody Rights: Strategies to Assist A Father Secure Full Custody Rights

Although, it's preferable for parents to share custody of a child, there are situations where the courts would consider granting full custody to one parent. In addition, the courts are not permitted to show any bias against fathers. However, you should be prepared for a challenging child custody battle if the child's mother is also planning to file for full custody.

Read more at: http://singleparents.about.com/od/childcustodyresources/a/can-a-father-win-full-custody.htm

Child Custody

Since 1984, The Father’s Rights Law Center® has represented spouses in California in all areas of family law. Our unique law office works with husbands and fathers representing their rights during a marital dissolution. The Father’s Rights Law Center® does not believe that custody is right for every father, but that every father should have an equal right to custody.

Read more at: http://www.fathersrights.com/legal-services/child-custody/

Monday, May 27, 2013

Shared parenting best

I am writing this letter as a result of the Judiciary Committee vote on LB22 that left the bill in limbo. I am from outstate Nebraska with significant interest in this bill or any bill for that matter that addresses an increase in parenting time for fathers.

I have fought my battle in court to be recognized as a vital part of my children's life but have been vilified by the court system over and over. It should be in every father's best interest to remain involved in his children's lives as much as possible without the individual interpretation of any district court judge. I am a good enough parent to have custody of our daughter for the past four years but am not good enough to see our other two children more than every other week. This makes absolutely no sense at all.

Equal Rights For Divorced Fathers

Shared parenting is a joint parenting arrangement in which children of divorce are given the right by the courts to have both of their parents share in the most equitable manner as possible, the responsibilities of caring and raising the children.

By having both parents play an active role in the caring of a child, both parents feel like they are a part of the child’s life and that neither one of them feels treated like a weekend visitor. This IS NOT the typical Joint Custody which only gives oneparent Physical Custody.

Read more at: http://www.equalrightsforfathers.com/

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Supervised Visitation & Child Custody

One of the most important things divorced parents can do is help their children maintain a close relationship with both parents. Experts say children do best when both parents continue to provide love and guidance.

This may require you to put aside personal resentments in order to help your ex-spouse stay involved in your child's life. A well-drafted visitation schedule can help your children enjoy quality time with both of you.

Sometimes though, a parent's visits raise concerns about the child's safety or well-being. In some situations, parental visits must be restricted to protect the child. If you are divorcing, you may wonder when a court can place limits on visitation by a parent.

Read more at:http://family-law.lawyers.com/visitation-rights/Supervised-Visitation-and-Child-Custody.html

Making the Best of Supervised Visitations

The phrase "supervised visitation" refers to court-ordered, scheduled, and supervised contact between a parent and his or her children. If you or your children are required to participate in supervised visitations, you know already how difficult they can be.

Even when everyone involved is excited and experiences a deep desire to connect, the presence of an outside observer, who is listening to each conversation and watching every interaction, can make the experience somewhat stilted. To boot, the visit may take place in an unnatural setting, which works to make the experience even more artificial.

Positive Shared Parenting

Positive shared parenting is working together with your partner parent in order to create a loving and supportive environment for your children even though you live in separate households. Regardless of the issues between yourself and your child’s mother or father, you want to do what’s best for your kids. This can often be very difficult when your child is split between two homes that can have different rules and beliefs, which contradict each other. The process of creating an environment that’s healthy for your children starts with you and the other parent sitting down and agreeing on what will work best.

Read more at: http://www.positivesharedparenting.org/

Shared Parenting Myths

"Shared Parenting is impossible to pull off." This is simply not true. As the implementation of Shared Parenting Legislation continues to spread, more and more parents are learning how to co-parent well. It can be done, and in situations where the child previously enjoyed relationships with two fit, involved parents, shared parenting is an option that should not be overlooked.

"It's unfair to expect a child to live in two different homes." Making the adjustment to living in two homes is certainly a challenge that requires a lot of patience, encouragement, and collaboration. When it is done well, it can actually be ideal for the children. What would truly be unfair, however, would be expecting the child to forfeit part of his or her relationship with one parent in order to accommodate both parents' determination to avoid learning how to parent well as collaborative partners.

Child Support

The Division of Child Support helps parents establish a financial partnership to support their children when they do not live together.

Services through the Division of Child Support are available to any adult who has legal custody of a minor child. Services are also available to fathers who need help establishing paternity.

Those who receive public assistance (TANF, Medicaid, Title IV-E foster care) and are the custodian or guardian of a minor child whose parent(s) does not live in their home are automatically referred for child support services.

Read more at:http://dss.sd.gov/childsupport/

Noncustodial Parent

The noncustodial parent is the person who does not have primary care, custody or control of the child and has an obligation to pay child support.

Below you will find information for noncustodial parents.

Noncustodial Parent

Child Support Program services are for both parents—custodial parties and noncustodial parents (NCPs). NCPs can apply for services or ask to modify child support already ordered. Local child support agencies are an important resource for NCPs. By working closely with the local agency, NCPs can avoid or minimize issues that may arise regarding their child support case and/or child support payments.

Applications for service are available at the local office or may be downloaded from our website. Completed applications must be mailed or dropped off at the local child support agency office to be processed.

Under California law, NCPs are required to pay their court-ordered child support on time and in full. If you cannot meet the full obligation or cannot make the court-ordered payments contact the local child support agency as soon as possible to avoid or minimize any adverse actions that may be taken. Unpaid child support will still be owed—with interest.

Overview of Child Support

Child "support" refers to a support obligation owed for the benefit of a child or an amount owing to a county for reimbursement of public assistance paid for a child. It also refers to any arrearage (past-due support), and includes "maintenance and education."1

In California, both parents have an equal responsibility to support their minor children "in the manner suitable to the child's circumstances."2 This responsibility is also expressed in a statement by the legislature: In implementing the guideline, courts "shall adhere" to the principles that "a parent's first and principal obligation is to support his or her minor children according to the parent's circumstances and station in life"; and "both parents are mutually responsible for the support of their children."3

Ending Family Relationships

Starting on January 1, 2005, registered domestic partners in California must also file for dissolution, legal separation, or annulment to end their relationship.

A divorce (also called "dissolution of marriage" or "dissolution of domestic partnership") ends your marriage or registered domestic partnership. After you are divorced, you will be single, and, after that, you can marry or become a domestic partner again.

This page explains the differences between a divorce, a legal separation, and an annulment, the methods of ending family relationships in California:

Overview of Child Custody and Visitation

Like most aspects of family relations, the law in the field of child custody and visitation is usually state rather than federal. Child custody and visitation are legal terms describing the legal and practical relationship between a parent and his or her child, the bundle of rights and responsibilities of the parent, including the parental right to make decisions for the child and the duty to care for and protect the child.

In the case of divorce, generally, the court having jurisdiction of the divorce proceedings also determines who will have custody of children from the marriage. Under the common statutory provision, the parents of a child born within a marriage are joint guardians of that child and the parental rights of both parents are equal--each parent has an equal right to the custody of the child at the time they separate.

We are still a long way off equal parental rights for fathers

Consultation on children having access to divorced parents starts today but fathers should not hope that this Sunday’s Father’s Day will bring them any closer to getting fairer access to their children.

The Family Justice Review report on family law published in November 2011 and chaired by the economist, David Norgrove, which is the basis for the new legislation, fails to give equal parental rights.

When divorce happens, it is destructive, heart-breaking, financially crippling and has a devastating effect on the children. Adults will get over the divorce, children do not. That’s why the latest piece of legislation from Children’s Minister, Tim Loughton is so important.

Shared Parenting Legislation

Shared parenting refers to joint physical custody, where both parents share approximately equal parenting time and are equally recognized by the law as the legal guardians of their children.

According to the Children's Rights Council, there are only 6 states within the U.S. - Alaska, Iowa, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, and Wisconsin - that currently have legislation which promotes equal access to both parents.

What is Equal parenting

What is Equal parenting?

Equal parenting is the presumption that parents should share the responsibilities and time of parenting on the basis of equal rights. Of course, parents may agree to divide duties – who drives the kids to soccer, who cooks certain days, who helps with certain homework – but if they can’t agree, such as in a highly-conflicted divorce, both parents keep equal rights and responsibilities, unless one or both parents is clearly shown to be unfit.

Why do Parents need rights?

Parents need rights because it is the only way to protect the rights of their children. Parents need rights to seek and approve educational and medical services for their kids, to get medical and educational records. Parents without rights have no standing in courts or in government or social service agencies. As minors, children have no standing in courts so parents must represent their rights. Parents without rights mean children without parents and kids without rights.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Equal Custody Between Parents Should Be the Legal Norm

Family law is an area that is full of legal presumptions. There are presumptions about who is a legal parent. There are presumptions in many states about what property is jointly owned. These are just two such examples. Yet, there is one presumption that seems to be missing from the body of legal presumptions in family law: the presumption that equal custody timesharing is appropriate for children involved in divorce and paternity custody disputes.

Each year, cases are tied up in court by one parent trying to maintain control over the custody of the children. In these situations, the parent who is seeking equal custody can be tied up in very expensive litigation to establish a right that to their children that, had the parents not been divorced, they would automatically have.

Let's face it: when people are living together (whether married or not, and in the read more at: ttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/fred-silberberg/equal-custody-between-par_b_1625939.html r

Custody Rights After Establishing Legal Fatherhood

he unmarried father will not generally have the right to sole physical custody of his child, as long as the mother is a fit parent. But courts today recognize that children benefit from a relationship with both parents regardless of marriage status. Many states and the federal government have been developing initiatives to support a father's right to participate in his children's lives.

Fathers can petition the court for some rights, such as:

Joint legal custody, so he can share in decisions about the child's education, health and general well-being.
Joint physical custody, so his child can live with him part of the time.
Visitation, so he can have the opportunity to get to know his child and establish a relationship.

Find more information on differences between both legal and physical custody.

The courts will consider the best interests of the child in deciding whether to award custody or visitations rights fathers. Joint legal custody is commonly granted, but the court considers various factors, including the home environment, when considering granting joint physical custody or visitation.

If the mother dies or is found unfit, the legal father's rights will often take priority over other individuals who may want custody, including the mother's relatives. read more at:http://www.attorneys.com/child-custody/does-fatherhood-convey-any-custody-rights-when-the-parents-are-not-married/

fathers rights

Make no mistake about it, DADS America encourages Father Custody. If a father never asks for custody, he will never get it. For fathers to gain custody they must ask for custody. We find opposition to this father custody concept baffling. Mother custody has been the norm, has been the default, for over 30 years and there has been no outrage. If you are outraged by father custody then you must also be outraged by mother custody, if not then there is discrimination. We are simply asking for equal time, an affirmative action policy to make up for past inequities.

If both parents agree on "Joint Custody" as part of their break-up or divorce with the "Parenting Plan" spelled out clearly, and the issue of "child support" (if any), satisfactory to both, then and only then will "Joint Custody" be of any value.

HOWEVER, when the parents do not want or willingly agree to Joint Custody, fathers will have problems. The problems simply appear as a delay of the causes of the breakup or divorce. A list of some of the problems that fathers have after obtaining "Joint Custody" are as follows: read more at: http://www.dadsamerica.org/jc.htm

Separated Fathers and the ‘Fathers’ Rights’ Movement

Separated fathers often feel profound grief, distress, and anger at the end of their relationships with their partners and their children. Some participate in ‘fathers’ rights’ groups, a movement which claims to advocate on behalf of men and fathers who are the victims of discrimination and injustice in the Family Court and elsewhere. Yet such groups may do little to help fathers heal or to build or maintain ongoing and positive relationships with their children. Some men do find support in these groups, but they also may be incited into anger, blame, and destructive strategies of litigation. The fathers’ rights movement prioritises formal principles of equality over positive parenting and the well-being of women and children. Some groups seem more concerned with re-establishing paternal authority and fathers’ decision-making related to their children’s and ex-partners’ lives than with actual involvements with children. However, other responses to separated fathers are more constructive.

Fathers’ Rights Are Doomed By Advocating Within the Family Court System

The Family Court system will not allow equal rights for fathers - not now, not ever. Fathers’ Rights advocates who try to change the system from within are wasting their time. Here’s why…

Huge State and federal agencies support the family court system

The family court system is an essential part of what can best be described as the Divorce and Domestic Violence Industry (DDVI) which includes both federal and state Child Support Enforcement (CSE) agencies. The federal CSE supports millions of workers and supplies funds to states and family courts for the amount and time involved with child support orders.

Many domestic violence agencies are in part funded through the Violence Against Women’s Act (VAWA) to tens of billions of dollars. VAWA also funds programs within police departments dealing with domestic violence prevention.

All these people are committed advocates to sustaining their funding.

The Family Court’s essential role is to deny parental rights of fathers while ordering them to pay child support

Family court plays the essential part in the DDVI. It deals with divorce and paternity suits. Family court judges assign custody (i.e. physical and legal custody) to parents while assigning child support obligations to the noncustodial parent. read more at: http://www.fathersrightslegalaid.com/ArticleCategories/RegainingOurRights/sya130402FR-FamCtWontChangeBecause.htm

Don’t Compromise With Family Court’s Tyranny Against Fathers

Compromising in any way that allows the family court structure to continue will maintain its tyranny. Never compromise with a structure that virtually guarantees tyranny over people. Tyranny feeds on such compromises.

Sadly, many fathers rights advocates are mentally trapped within the mental box that this tyranny has created for them. They actually become appeasers for this malicious system. They beg for a more ‘father friendly’ family court by using meaningless terms like children’s rights or pretending that family court judges are just ignorant or incompetent about their despotic judgments.

Demanding Children’s Rights is meaningless. It ultimately leaves the state as the determiner or controller of children. This represents tyranny, since it is the fit parent that has the natural best interest of his child – if it’s not perverted by family court’s malicious benefits that come at the expense of the other parent’s rights as is the case of many divorced and single mothers today.

Children are a parent’s most precious ‘property’ – not to destroy or harm – but to nurture as is the natural inclination (free of feminist perversions) of a parent. They are a ‘property’ that their growth into maturity entitles to themselves.

Pretending that a ‘concerned judge’ who is given virtually unlimited and uncontrolled right to rule over children and parents as he wishes simply needs to be ‘educated’ to the proven fact that the besting interest of the child must incorporate the father in his life is foolish. This is profoundly naive of both human nature and the wise constitutional due process demanded by our forefathers. read more : http://www.fathersrightslegalaid.com/ArticleCategories/RegainingOurRights/sya121205FR-Don'tCompromiseWithFamilyCourt.htm

Fathers Must Demand Clear and Unequivocal Rights

Fathers must demand their full constitutional rights which include full parental rights to directly support and care for our children as for all fit parents. This right begins at a child’s conception. The denial of fitness and resulting restriction on parenting right must comply fully with constitutional due process for restricting any fundamental right. It can only be challenged in a superior court that includes a fully informed jury of one’s peers.

As a default arrangement, a fit father and fit mother will alternate full legal and physical custody 50% of the time (perhaps alternate weeks in the last town they lived together) unless they - and only they - decide otherwise. The states only part is to guarantee this default contract or any other contract the parents decide to make between themselves only.

There shall not be any state-imposed child extortion (euphemistically called child support). Fathers demand to directly parent their children. This includes directly supporting them and rejecting state-imposed child extortion payments of any kind or at any amount.

Marriage shall be a clear contract outlining reciprocal benefits and division of property at divorce – perhaps following community property laws. No parent has a right to live at the expense of another parent outside of marriage. read more : http://www.fathersrightslegalaid.com/ArticleCategories/RegainingOurRights/sya121204FR-DemandClearUnequivocalRights.htm

Fathers’ Rights Are Doomed By Advocating Within the Family Court System

The Family Court system will not allow equal rights for fathers - not now, not ever. Fathers’ Rights advocates who try to change the system from within are wasting their time. Here’s why…

Huge State and federal agencies support the family court system

All these people are committed advocates to sustaining their funding.

The Family Court’s essential role is to deny parental rights of fathers while ordering them to pay child support

Fathers Must Educate Themselves to Their Real Rights, The Feminist Tyranny and The War On Fatherhood

Feminists have parlayed the ‘best interests of the child’ and ‘safety of women from abuse’ excuses into a tyranny against men and fathers in the family courts. Fathers, denied all constitutional due process, stripped of their fundamental rights and children, and reduced to slaves and extorted for money, must cut through the propaganda to understand their real rights and learn to fight back.

Divorce and paternity lawsuits are the basis of a multibillion dollar divorce/domestic violence and child support industry solely dependent on targeting fathers and then denying them their rights, their children, and extorting them for years without any wrong proved – but simply alleged.

With no evidence of parental unfitness and based almost solely on any accusation or characterization that the mother makes against the father, the father will lose parental control over his child(ren) and most or all of his assets. The state effectively kidnaps his children no matter how much he wants to directly care for and support his own children. read more at: http://www.fathersrightslegalaid.com/ArticleCategories/RegainingOurRights/sya130101FR-FathersMustEducateToFemWonFat.htm

Fatherhood

Being a single, non-custodial parent often feels like you are less important in your child’s eyes and that you are seen primarily as simply a source of income. But fathers need to realize their importance and that no one can replace you as your child’s dad. Being a divorced dad is challenging due to biased child custody decisions and prevalence of parental alienation, but that means you just have to try even harder to grow your relationship with your children and be the best father possible.

Legal & Physical Child Custody: What's the Difference?

In many states, there are two types of child custody: legal and physical. They may at first appearance sound the same, but they are not.

Custody is often thought of as which parent gets the children after a couple divorces. In previous years, one parent was typically designated the custodial parent, meaning the parent with whom the children live, while the other was the non-custodial parent, who typically had visitation rights but did not share in the custody.

These days, however, judges in most states prefer to order joint custody to encourage both parents active involvement in the lives of their children. Joint custody is sometimes called shared custody orshared parenting.However, joint child custody can be legal, physical, or both.

Joint physical custody

I am a big advocate for joint physical custody. If at all possible, I want children to spend a lot of time - and have good relationships - with both of their parents after a separation or divorce. But there are several problems and potential pitfalls with joint physical custody. I touch on the most important in this entry, including:

• For children, joint physical custody is the best and the worst arrangement.
• Joint physical custody is a lousy "compromise" between disputing parents.
• Joint physical custody is being used, wrongly, to lower child support payments.
• Joint physical custody is not necessarily 50/50.
• Joint physical custody requires a lot of logistical coordination.
• Joint physical custody is less stable over time than sole physical custody.
• Joint physical custody apparently works only for a minority of families.

Deadbeat Parents and Unpaid Child Support

When a parent is ordered by the court to pay child support and continuously fails to do so, he or she is commonly referred to as a "deadbeat parent." This pejorative term is used the actual legislation of some states, and is often misunderstood. Parents who fall behind on child support due to job loss or unforeseen circumstances aren't necessarily "deadbeats." Deadbeat is generally reserved for those who have the means to pay, but do not. Parents who are unable to pay may be eligible for child support modification.

Read More at: http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/deadbeat.htm

EquallySharedParenting

Welcome to EquallySharedParenting.com, the cyber home for fathers and mothers who have made (or wish to make) a conscious decision to share equally in the raising of their children, household chores, breadwinning, and time for recreation. This site is the brainchild of Marc and Amy Vachon, authors of the new book Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents and equal parents ourselves.

If you are new to this site your first stop may be to read What is Equally Shared Parenting? on the main menu. Then, peruse some of the essays in the How It Works section, or stay current on the world of equally shared parenting by reading our Equality Blog. And you may also wish to learn more about our book and what others are saying about it on our ESP: The Book page.

Read more at:http://equallysharedparenting.com/

The Basics of Shared Parenting

What is shared parenting?

Shared parenting is a method of parenting that allows both parents the chance to actively parent their child.

More and more parents are moving away from the "traditional" custody agreements that consist of a custodial and a non-custodial parent.

Every other weekend parents and "Disneyland Dads" are becoming less common as more parents are realizing that parenting is not only a right, it is a responsibility, and it is important for children to have BOTH parents as active participants in their lives.

In a shared or joint custody agreement, both parents have physical custody (parenting time) with their child and both spend ample amounts of time with them.

When parents share custody, each parent will usually have the child at least 30% of the time and some parents opt to split the child's time as evenly as possible.

Both parents are also responsible for making the important decisions in the child's life.

Friday, May 24, 2013

New Center Can Supervise Court-Ordered Parental Visits

Victims of spousal abuse in Austin have a new option if their children are to receive supervised visits with the other parent. Travis County has opened PlanetSafe at 11th and Nueces, a supervised visitation and safe exchange center. Its grand opening is today.

The facility is operated by the local non-profit Safe Place, and was established with the help of $600,000 in federal grants from the Office of Violence Against Women. Travis County supplied the use of the building for a nominal rent and is paying for staffing.

“A victim can feel completely safe and welcomed in an environment that looks out for the victim’s safety and allows the person who has been the abuser to continue a relationship with his or her children," said Gretta Gardner, director of a family violence intervention program with Travis County.

PlanetSafe will offer services on a sliding scale, starting at $5 to exchange a child between parents and $10 for a visitation.

For the first six months, PlanetSafe will only accept clients who have a court order or are referred by SafePlace, but starting in the fall, it will open to the community at large.

Read the rest at http://www.kutnews.org/post/new-center-can-supervise-court-ordered-parental-visits

Travis County, SafePlace open new child custody exchange center

Travis County and SafePlace, an organization dedicated to providing services to domestic violence and sexual assault survivors, have teamed up to provide a new service to families.

PlanetSafe, a supervised visitation and safe child exchange center, opened this month. The program is the result of a two-year planning project funded through a Safe Havens grant from the Office on Violence Against Women.

PlanetSafe will act as an intermediary, in which parents can exchange custody of their children without personal contact. The center also provides parents with supervised and observed visitation of their children. The program is available on a sliding fee scale starting at $5 for safe exchanges and $10 for supervised visitation. Initially, only families who have been referred to the service from SafePlace or families with a court order will be accepted. PlanetSafe will expand to accept referrals from other service providers at a later date.

Check out the video to learn more about the program from Travis County Family Violence Center Director Gretta Gardner.

No bail for Pa. parents in faith-healing death

PHILADELPHIA -- A Philadelphia judge has ordered that a couple who believe in faith healing over medicine be held without bail on third-degree murder charges in the April death of their 8-month-old son.

Herbert and Catherine Schaible (SHY'-bul) are charged in the death of their baby, Brandon. They'd been convicted of involuntary manslaughter after another child, 2-year-old Kent, died in 2009. Prosecutors say they prayed over Brandon for two weeks before he died, and never called a doctor.

Read the rest at http://www.sacbee.com/2013/05/23/5443128/250k-bail-set-in-pa-infants-faith.html

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/05/23/5443128/250k-bail-set-in-pa-infants-faith.html#storylink=cp

Rea

CAS stakeholders rally to protest cuts to services for children and youth-CUPE calls on Liberal Minister Piruzza to stop cuts and restore funding

WINDSOR, ONTARIO--(Marketwired - May 24, 2013) - Stakeholders in the Children's Aid Society (CAS) network have joined forces to pressure Minister of Children and Youth Services Teresa Piruzza to stop cuts and restore services within the sector. Organizers emphasize that while the rally was scheduled for 12 noon today at Minister Piruzza's Windsor riding office, cuts are a problem throughout the area and across the province.

"We are united here today in our concern for some of society's most vulnerable members," said Aubrey Gonsalves, President of CUPE Local 2316 at the Toronto CAS and CUPE's provincial CAS representative. "The announced service and program reductions and staff cuts are only the beginning, with more expected as the Liberals implement their budget."

"Funding for child welfare in Ontario has flat lined. At-risk children, youth, child welfare workers and foster parents are all on the losing end of Ontario's new, so-called 'fairer' funding formula for Children's Aid Societies (CASs)," said Gonsalves.

"What is "fairer" about a funding model that results in a $50.6 million funding shortfall and looming service and staff cuts for agencies across the province?," asked Gonsalves. "Sadly, the first services to be eliminated are those programs which provide intervention and support to families before problems escalate. These are the very services that help keep kids out of care and families intact."

Here are just a few examples of the impact of the many cuts planned:

Recently, the Windsor CAS cut 18 case aides and family access staff from a program that provides supervised visits for children and youth in care.

Read the rest at http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/cas-stakeholders-rally-protest-cuts-services-children-youth-cupe-calls-on-liberal-minister-1794727.htm

Mindfulness: Can It Make Parenting Easier?

There’s no question in my mind that mindfulness can make us all better parents, both by helping us to stay tuned in to our own thoughts and feelings so they don’t unconsciously dictate our actions AND by giving us the skills and tools to truly connect with our children so we can best respond to their thoughts and emotions with kindness. I have found that my own meditation and informal mindfulness practices have made a noticeable improvement in my ability to stay calm and choose how I want to respond to my girls, rather than reacting to them out of frustration or anger. I’m definitely not perfect, but it’s getting better.

To be honest, though, I had always thought that mindfulness was going to require more effort in my parenting. I worried that all of that awareness, all of that figuring out what is going on inside my crazy mind (as well as my daughters’ minds!) was going to be an awful lot of work. I decided to do it anyway, because the way I saw it, parenting is hard work no matter how you do it, so you might as well try to get it right, right?

Turns out I was wrong. I just read two studies by Karen Bluth and Robert Wahler at The University of Tennessee looking at the relationship between mindfulness and parental effort. They asked mothers of both adolescents and pre-schoolers to fill out scales measuring how generally mindful they are and also how much effort they expend in parenting. Not surprisingly, they found that “the mothers with high mindfulness scores reported less parenting effort and lower problems with their youth than did mothers with low mindfulness scores” (2011a, p. 177).

Read the rest at http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindful-parenting/2013/05/mindfulness-can-it-make-parenting-easier/

9 Tips for Co-Parenting After Divorce

Usually when a couple splits up, the silver lining is that they never have to talk to each other ever, ever again. In fact, most of the time, it's best if they just cut off all contact, period, so they can move on with their lives. But when parents divorce, it's way more complicated. You do still have to talk with each other, probably all the time, because of the kids. You have to work out a parenting plan during your divorce. And you have to work out visitation and a million other little details like civilized people.

Since separating from my husband, I've learned a few things the hard way. Thankfully, we get along pretty well and we're on the same page about most things, so it hasn't been too hard.But here's what I've learned works.

1. Work out a temporary parenting plan. Divorcing parents have to create a formal parenting plan when they file, but even ahead of working out the formal plan, try to agree on a temporary plan.

2. Don't make your formal parenting plan permanent. A lot of parents find that situations change over time, and what works when your kids are 7 and 9 won't necessarily work when they're in their teens. A good rule of thumb is to plan for three years at a time and to leave flexibility in your plan so you can revisit your decisions every few years.

3. Work with a child specialist. You both need someone to help you think in terms of your child's best interests. Some things are not always entirely intuitive.

4. Always make it about the kids. Try to limit your conversations to just those about your kids. Don't pick fights -- and don't respond when he picks a fight with you.

5. Don't criticize each other's parenting. You may not like how your ex parents, but bite your tongue anyway (except in cases of abuse). No eye rolls, either, or sighing, or disapproving frowns.

Read the rest at http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/155939/9_tips_for_co_parenting

Benefit of the doubt

''Do you have chickens?" asks the woman hanging off Social Development Minister Paula Bennett's shoulder as she tries to hustle to her next appointment. As much as you can hustle in hot-pink-heeled stilettos.

Chicken Woman has gatecrashed the Social Workers in Schools conference in Auckland to spruik a new court for homeless people. "Do you have chickens?" she gushes. "Because you're really good with ruffled feathers."

Bennett looks bemused. Her conference speech had just outlined the Children's Action Plan - a piece of work that Children's Commissioner Russell Wills calls the greatest focus on child abuse since 1989, and the piece de resistance of Bennett's tenure so far as the country's welfare kingpin.

Her appearance has both ruffled and smoothed feathers, much like her past five years in the job. She's soared: teen-solo-mum-made-good catapulted into the nation's heftiest ($23.6 billion) portfolio after just one term. Stalled: amid damaging family revelations. Bombed: with the discovery last year - the very week her beloved action plan was released - that Work and Income's public kiosks included a direct line into sensitive welfare data.

It's 9.15am and Bennett is late for her first appointment in an average day of cheery ministerial visits centred on kids at risk. Dressed in a floaty cobalt dress and a string of knotted hot-pink beads to match the shoes, Bennett strides into the hotel ballroom, unmistakable against a parade of overwhelmingly Maori and Pasifika women in sensible shoes.

Read the rest at http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/8698697/Benefit-of-the-doubt

In the name of the father

Away from the spotlight, celebrity hairstylist Vidal Sass-oon was a philosophical man. Every birthday, from the time his son Elan was 10 until he was 21, Vidal gave him a copy of Kahlil Gibran's 1923 tome The Prophet - inspirational essays on love, family, work and death. "I was like, 'Dad, I've got 11 copies - you've really got to stop giving it to me,' " says Elan, smiling. "He said, 'You can never learn the fundamentals of humanity enough.'"

It's not what you might expect from the flamboyant showman who worked his way up from 14-year-old shampoo boy to open the world's first international chain of hairdressing salons. From London to Paris to Manhattan, Vidal Sassoon's Bauhaus-inspired salons and geometric haircuts - improvised on Grace Coddington, Mary Quant and Nancy Kwan - came to symbolise the swinging '60s.

Unlike his father, whose impish enthusiasm was wrapped in a Cockney accent softened by elocution lessons, Elan is quietly spoken, his relaxed friendliness and long vowels giving away his Californian upbringing.

Archaic family laws need reform in Florida

Florida’s alimony laws were written back in the day — when women had little economic power, when divorce was uncommon, and cohabiting was scandalous. Those days are long gone, but the old-fashioned alimony laws — favoring permanent alimony, until death — linger on.

Current Alimony Law in Florida causes immense hardship for those who must support an ex-spouse until he dies or she dies, even for marriages of less than 10 years, even to healthy women who begin collecting at 33 years old. Hard to believe, but true.

Too many alimony payers are forced into bankruptcy, into foreclosure, and into returning again and again to divorce court, when life circumstances change and they need to modify payments. Those who receive permanent alimony are never obligated to work. Never required to become self-sufficient, even if they live with a new boy/girlfriend, work, and finished raising their kids years ago.

We, at Family Law Reform, Inc., think that’s unfair, not just to the payers but to their children, their new spouses — and even the recipients, who are told to never move on with their lives, who remain on lifetime welfare. The public thinks it’s unfair — and so do most of Florida’s legislators. In the 2013 legislative session, both the Florida House and Senate passed the proposed alimony law with a super-majority vote that allowed new law with new limits and plenty of room for judges to make decisions in unusual cases.

Read the rest at http://www.news-press.com/article/20130520/OPINION/305200009/Guest-opinion-Archaic-family-laws-need-reform-Florida

Family Law Attorneys of Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP Open New Office in Warren, New Jersey

The boutique family law firm of Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP opens a new office to better serve its family law clients in the New Jersey area.

Warren, NJ (PRWEB) May 23, 2013

The law firm of Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP announces it has opened a new office to serve its family law clients in the Warren, New Jersey area. The new office is located at 7 Mount Bethel Road in Warren, New Jersey.

Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP is a boutique New York divorce law firm, located in midtown Manhattan and now New Jersey. It concentrates its practice exclusively in the areas of family and divorce law, and serves clients in the greater New York City and Central and Northern New Jersey areas. Recognized among divorce law firms in New York, the firm is the only Manhattan firm specializing in litigation, mediation and collaborative law.

“We are excited about our new location. It allows us to meet the needs of our clients in surroundings that are comfortable and professional,” says firm partner Jacqueline Newman.

The new office is conveniently located in Warren, easily accessible from Routes 22 and 78. The New Jersey office serves Somerset, Middlesex, Union, Essex, Morris and Bergen Counties. As with their New York City office, the firm’s divorce attorneys provide mediation, collaborative divorce, negotiation and litigation services. For the convenience of clients, the New York City office offers New York and New Jersey legal advice in family law matters. The addition of their new office allows them to serve clients in New Jersey and New York in either office, which offers convenience based upon their home and work locations. The firm has experienced counsel in both states.

School district lists sex offender as custodial parent of Penticton teen

An alleged bureaucratic mixup by the Okanagan Skaha School District led to an admitted sex offender being listed as the custodial parent of a Penticton teen.

Now the biological father wants them to be held accountable. The man, whose name we have changed to Jones to protect the identity of his son, alleges the teen was befriended by Rene Marc Burke for the intention of being exploited. Jones said grooming tactics of making booze, cigarettes and partying available to the teen were used by Burke.

“He told my son he was a millionaire and he was going to inherit everything,” said the dad.

Burke has since pleaded guilty to charges of fear of a sexual offence in respect of a person under 14, touching a younger person for a sexual purpose and two breaches. Charges that all stem from contact with the teen. Burke appeared in court on Wednesday but the details of the charges have not been laid out in court yet, as the man’s sentencing was adjourned to another day.

Jones said the 56-year-old Burke was a complete stranger to him. He said he first learned of Burke after finding out his son had arranged to transfer high schools in August 2011.

Read the rest at http://www.pentictonwesternnews.com/news/204597801.html