Usually when a couple splits up, the silver lining is that they never have to talk to each other ever, ever again. In fact, most of the time, it's best if they just cut off all contact, period, so they can move on with their lives. But when parents divorce, it's way more complicated. You do still have to talk with each other, probably all the time, because of the kids. You have to work out a parenting plan during your divorce. And you have to work out visitation and a million other little details like civilized people.
Since separating from my husband, I've learned a few things the hard way. Thankfully, we get along pretty well and we're on the same page about most things, so it hasn't been too hard.But here's what I've learned works.
1. Work out a temporary parenting plan. Divorcing parents have to create a formal parenting plan when they file, but even ahead of working out the formal plan, try to agree on a temporary plan.
2. Don't make your formal parenting plan permanent. A lot of parents find that situations change over time, and what works when your kids are 7 and 9 won't necessarily work when they're in their teens. A good rule of thumb is to plan for three years at a time and to leave flexibility in your plan so you can revisit your decisions every few years.
3. Work with a child specialist. You both need someone to help you think in terms of your child's best interests. Some things are not always entirely intuitive.
4. Always make it about the kids. Try to limit your conversations to just those about your kids. Don't pick fights -- and don't respond when he picks a fight with you.
5. Don't criticize each other's parenting. You may not like how your ex parents, but bite your tongue anyway (except in cases of abuse). No eye rolls, either, or sighing, or disapproving frowns.
Read the rest at http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/155939/9_tips_for_co_parenting
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