It is official: men are an oppressed minority these days. Despite an entire human history’s-worth of cultural dominance, in the few short generations since women got the vote, feminism has spoiled it for everyone, and women have full, unnatural dominance.
You don’t believe me? Consider this: who dies more often in wars, men or women? Which sex has the shorter life expectancy? Who has to make all the alimony payments? And who, most of all, has to leave a sinking cruise ship in last place? If you answered ‘men’ (poor, browbeaten men) to all of these, you’d be right, though these examples only scratch the surface of the systemic inequities men are forced to face each and every day.
There’s the pressure of having to pay for the bill on a date, more often than not, and that of having to conform to that terrible Hollywood stereotype of having, like, big pectoral muscles and things. Feminism has inculcated a crisis in masculinity.
Well that’s what I would say, if I had, as the ghastly Men’s Rights movement puts it with the full cod-philosophical force of the Matrix movies, swallowed ‘the red pill’.
Men’s Rights is a movement that, while not exclusive to the internet, has blossomed – or festered, however you prefer it to put it – online. It's loopy. Of course it's loopy. Men aren't oppressed. We’ve had a pretty good thing going since the year dot, since that one time Eve was conjured as a divine afterthought from Adam’s spare rib. Feminism, as a movement, is nothing more than an attempt to recalibrate society into something that doesn't completely overwhelm men with favour. And however well you might think it has succeeded, it really hasn't, what with glass ceilings, pats on bottoms and the endless bloody trumpetings of the whooping online ‘masculism’ mob.
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